> Saturday, September 19, 2009
one thing i never do is to blog about family matters online.
and i seriously can't hold myself back anymore!
Family problems have been going on for a very long time,
don't tell me things like every family has their own problems.
I really can tell you my family has all sorts of problems.
Because they are never satisfied with whatever they have!
We, as daughters, try not to upset them to our best ability.
So don't you think they as parents should stop pushing their limits?
It's not a case of growing up kids having problems with their parents because their parents are getting in their way of being stylo milo with all the curfews, restrictions etc.
We have a serious problem with them being unhappy about everything!
Who on earth throw keys/fork/random item they can find when they are angry?
Who on earth scream their lungs out even though they are at fault?
And there are damn many more who on earth that I can state.
If we don't do whatever they think it's correct, we are in the wrong.
I once had to submit something online for grading and as a student, of course I know the best way to do it.
But he insisted that I do it in the way he suggested that was not viable so I told him that it should be done another way, NICELY.
Then there came a booming voice yelling at the top of his lungs (and made him sound more ignorant than ever) and down came a flying fork.
Because he couldn't accept the fact that he is wrong.
This is just something small. but it ended in a sour way.
So I went to highlight my hair today, something that I have been wanting to do but did not go ahead because I don't want to upset them. But after so many incidents recently, I decided that I really should not let them go in their ways anymore.
There's a line between being filial and blindly submitting to them.
And obviously they got really upset.
So they asked (or yelled) why we insist on doing things that will upset them. If we are filial, we would have done such things only after they die!
Seriously what the dot!
In their mind, we are always wanting them to die.
Do they really have to talk about death!
Tell me if that's frustrating cause they never believe we care for them!
Is there a need for such hooha over some strands of hair of slightly different shade?
And they kicked a big fuss not because of that, but cause of the same old thing.
They simply don't want to be defied, whether or not the thing that we do is right/wrong/harmful/harmless!
Of course we know that they care for us and thus the anxiety.
My sis and I are not the clubber type, but sometimes we do wanna go to bond with our friends.
But we forgo it to avoid upsetting them.
Sometimes we feel like staying out alil later on a Saturday night after a long week,
But we cast aside that thought to avoid upsetting them.
We want to do what we really want,
but also, we can only dream about it cause we don't want to upset them.
And when we meet with things that we really want to do and went ahead with it,
they talk like the whole world has crashed and that we're the worst daughters of all.
BUT
SERIOUSLY,
THEY NEED TO OPEN THEIR EYES AND LOOK AROUND.
I am not saying we've done a good job, but i dare say we've been trying very hard and have compromised hell lots of things I really wish to do for them.
And it just irks me to hear them complaining about everything despite having everything.
And this whole thing is making me feel so lonely because they've just shaped me into somebody with low self-esteem and confidence cause everything that I do is wrong!
People who don't understand my family background will not understand a single thing. and hence I find it hard to make new friends because they've no idea of what's going on everyday in my family. So after a difficult night everyday, I would cry to sleep and turn up in school with a smile again.
I'm gonna go crazy if I don't do anything about all this shit.
and i seriously can't hold myself back anymore!
Family problems have been going on for a very long time,
don't tell me things like every family has their own problems.
I really can tell you my family has all sorts of problems.
Because they are never satisfied with whatever they have!
We, as daughters, try not to upset them to our best ability.
So don't you think they as parents should stop pushing their limits?
It's not a case of growing up kids having problems with their parents because their parents are getting in their way of being stylo milo with all the curfews, restrictions etc.
We have a serious problem with them being unhappy about everything!
Who on earth throw keys/fork/random item they can find when they are angry?
Who on earth scream their lungs out even though they are at fault?
And there are damn many more who on earth that I can state.
If we don't do whatever they think it's correct, we are in the wrong.
I once had to submit something online for grading and as a student, of course I know the best way to do it.
But he insisted that I do it in the way he suggested that was not viable so I told him that it should be done another way, NICELY.
Then there came a booming voice yelling at the top of his lungs (and made him sound more ignorant than ever) and down came a flying fork.
Because he couldn't accept the fact that he is wrong.
This is just something small. but it ended in a sour way.
So I went to highlight my hair today, something that I have been wanting to do but did not go ahead because I don't want to upset them. But after so many incidents recently, I decided that I really should not let them go in their ways anymore.
There's a line between being filial and blindly submitting to them.
And obviously they got really upset.
So they asked (or yelled) why we insist on doing things that will upset them. If we are filial, we would have done such things only after they die!
Seriously what the dot!
In their mind, we are always wanting them to die.
Do they really have to talk about death!
Tell me if that's frustrating cause they never believe we care for them!
Is there a need for such hooha over some strands of hair of slightly different shade?
And they kicked a big fuss not because of that, but cause of the same old thing.
They simply don't want to be defied, whether or not the thing that we do is right/wrong/harmful/harmless!
Of course we know that they care for us and thus the anxiety.
My sis and I are not the clubber type, but sometimes we do wanna go to bond with our friends.
But we forgo it to avoid upsetting them.
Sometimes we feel like staying out alil later on a Saturday night after a long week,
But we cast aside that thought to avoid upsetting them.
We want to do what we really want,
but also, we can only dream about it cause we don't want to upset them.
And when we meet with things that we really want to do and went ahead with it,
they talk like the whole world has crashed and that we're the worst daughters of all.
BUT
SERIOUSLY,
THEY NEED TO OPEN THEIR EYES AND LOOK AROUND.
I am not saying we've done a good job, but i dare say we've been trying very hard and have compromised hell lots of things I really wish to do for them.
And it just irks me to hear them complaining about everything despite having everything.
And this whole thing is making me feel so lonely because they've just shaped me into somebody with low self-esteem and confidence cause everything that I do is wrong!
People who don't understand my family background will not understand a single thing. and hence I find it hard to make new friends because they've no idea of what's going on everyday in my family. So after a difficult night everyday, I would cry to sleep and turn up in school with a smile again.
I'm gonna go crazy if I don't do anything about all this shit.
